Camping! Yay!
by Ining-Batong
Summary: Lavi drags his three fave people out to the woods, and who do they happen to run into? Some people related to Allen - Tyki and co. - poor guy. AU.  Okay! This was based off some dream I had a few days ago and I was bored at class. Failed attempt at humor.
1. Chapter 1

"Once every hundred years a blue moon shines in the night sky. Some marveled at its beauty while others feared it."

"Why the hell would anyone be afraid of a blue moon?"

"Shut it! I'm trying to tell a scary story!"

"Well I'm shaking in my boots."

"Kanda be quiet, go on."

"Thank you. As I was saying. These people had a reason to be fearful, for whenever the blue moon would rise, out from the seas enormous monster would come out and wreak havoc upon the land!"

"Boh-RING!"

July 15, Summer of 2005. Subjects: Lavi Bookman, 17; Distinctive Characteristics: Eye patch and flaming red hair; Mixed race. Kanda Yu, 17; Distinctive Characteristics: Constant scowl and long pretty hair; Japanese. Lenalee Lee, 16; Distinctive Characteristics: High ponytails; Chinese. Allen Walker, 15; Distinctive Characteristics: Snow white hair and red scar; British.

Activity for the week: Camping. Location: Who the hell knows? Activity for tonight: Storytelling. Source of entertainment: Lavi.

"Yu-baby! Be quiet! You're ruining everything!"

"My week has been ruined by you dragging me here...and DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

An amused smile placed itself on Lenalee's face, "Guys let's just calm down and let Lavi finish his story. I wanna know how it ends."

Lavi's eyes...eye seemed to sparkle, "Lenalee you're really interested in my story?" Dreamy grin.

"Yeah!" _"As long as Kanda doesn't kill you."_

"Yay!"

"Don't encourage him, Lenalee."

"Yu!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

Allen blinked as he popped his head out of his and Lavi's tent to see his tent mate laying on the ground, face down, with Kanda stepped on the back of his head.

He looked at little to the left to see Lenalee sitting against a tree, roasting a marshmallow.

* * *

><p>"Ahem! I shall now continue the story."<p>

"Che."

"You were telling a story?"

"Yes little Beansprout."

"Lavi why?"

"Because!"

"GET ON WITH THE STORY!" Kanda interrupted angrily, a smallish largish tick visibly forming on his forehead.

"Right! Thanks Yu-baby!"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

* * *

><p>It was night time in the country side. The open sea was the backyard (or front depending on which direction your house was facing) for many villas, home away from home for the city folk.<p>

The stars would blink every now and then, glittering the blackish, bluish sky.

A little girl with twin brown braids at the base of the neck drew back her window and grinned up at the stars, pointing at one as a boy similar to her age walked up to stand beside her. They were twins.

Suddenly the ground began to shake, frightening the siblings. They looked around, holding onto the window sill to keep from falling out.

The waters started to rise as a large figure emerged from the sea. Once the waters descended the figure was plain for all to see.

A black body, with a grey face and large arms with oversized grey hands. Its torso donned armor, as though ready for battle. It raised one arm, fisting its hand in the hand, then brought it down, a large crater was created at the edge of the shore.

The siblings screamed with terror and dashed out of the room, waking their parents.

Three more large creature rose, and the four proceeded towards the land. Once there, they began to destroy the homes that stood on the peaceful hillside. They tore down towers and smashed any of the law enforcement officers who dared to stand in their way.

People screamed fearfully, families lost, buildings in rubbles.

It did not take more than a minute for chaos to ensue. Fire was spit out from the creatures' out in unison, burning any remaining houses that have been reduced to -

* * *

><p>"Whoah, whoah!" Allen waved his arms frantically, interrupting the story teller, "Lavi! Don't you think this is getting a little too dark?"<p>

"Allen, Allen, Allen." The redhead shook his head as if the youngest was to be pitied for a fault he made, "What good are stories if they're always gonna be sunshine and unicorns?"

"Rainbows."

"..."

"..."

"...what?"

"...it's sunshine and rainbows. Not sunshine and unicorns"

"Not it's not."

"Unicorns don't even exist Lavi."

Crap. Not good. Lenalee froze. Hell, even _Kanda_ froze. Does he freeze for anything? I think not! Okay recap on missing history. Lenalee, Kanda, and Lavi had known each other for eight years. Allen moved to their school around six months ago. Somehow, during those six months, Lavi's psychotic love - a love that could rival Kanda's love for his family heirloom katana, Mugen, which was probably currently tucked safely away in the Japanese boy's sleeping bag - for unicorns had never been mentioned.

"Moyashi," Kanda at least had the heart to warn the poor little sap (who knew?), "if you value your life you'll either have to run far, far away or make a sacrifice."

"WHAT?" The British began to panic. Kanda was actually warning him, then something bad was going to happen. He turned to look to Lavi, whose face was downcast and body shaking, "L-Lavi?"

"Don't Allen!" Lenalee held him back from touching the unicorn lover, "Lavi," She said cautiously, "Allen was just being dumb. Remember? He comes from a place where unicorns are very rare! Maybe we should find him one right now!"

No response.

"Usagi!"

Again. No response.

"La...Lavi?" Allen tried, and to his dismay, was replied to.

A dark, ominous aura surrounded Lavi as stood up, a dangerous gleam in his eye. "AAAAAALLEEEENNNNN~"

Said boy quickly backpedalled away, goose bumps rising all over his body, "Lavi! I-I was joking! JOKING! I SWEAR!"

"No Allen," The redhead's voice was eerie, Kanda almost - almost! - admitted to himself, "you were dead serious. I could tell. Now your punishment for being a nonbeliever - "

A loud explosion brought back the normal Lavi. The four teenagers looked around. The sound seemed so far away, yet so close. No signs of a fire starting was showed.

"Che." Kanda glared at the trees that surrounded them, "What the hell was that?"

"I hope it was nothing dangerous." Lenalee shuddered.

"Probably just some drunken rednecks." The pirate wannabe turned back to the white-haired boy, "Now, where were we?"

"Wa-wait, LAVI! DRUNKEN REDNECKS? HERE?"

The British kid was given the most oddest (is that a word?) look he had ever seen. It seemed like as if it was telling him "Yes! Drunken Rednecks! Man Allen, I knew you were a bit slow but did you really have to repeat what I just said with that kind of a shocked tone?"

Wait a minute...somewhere in the mountains...kind of near the city...near city folk and a bunch of other city folk so independent on technology...and there was a possibility of drunken rednecks close by?

Then they heard it.

The teenagers jumped at the sound of gunshots and what was probably drunken laughter. And it was getting closer.

"Fucking hell!" Kanda stood up, pulling Lenalee to her feet. The other two boys following in suit. The Japanese rushed into his tent then growled, "Where's Mugen?"

"Your dad took it away so you wouldn't kill us remember?" Lavi replied, "That doesn't matter now, we gotta pack up and book it!"

Allen was already in his and Lavi's tent, frantically packing his things. When his tent mate entered the canopy he heard the younger boy muttering a few words under his breath.

"I know Allen. I'm praying too! Who knows what those guys are capable of!"

"Hurry up you idiots!"

"Ah! Kanda move!"

Another explosion. Crap! Not good. Not good. Not good.

The redhead blinked. He finally caught wind of what his friend was muttering, "Allen, do you know those people?"

"..."

"Allen?"

"Lavi what's going on?" Lenalee's scared voice asked

"They're probably my uncle's cousins!"

Silence. For a few seconds. Then a very angry growl before Kanda threw open the flap of the Usagi and Moyashi's tent and glared spears at the white-haired boy.

"You know them?" Angry voice! Angry voice!

"They're probably my uncle Nea's cousins."

"And exactly how the hell do you know that?"

"The gunfire."

"Ah! Hey! Jasdero! Check this out!"

"Yeah look! There's two hot girls over here!"

And with that Allen Walker's life spiral out of control into a never ending nightmare. Okay, okay. Not life. Just the rest of his - and Lavi's and Kanda's and Lenalee's - night. Shit.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" Kanda's voice was started to sound a little too loud.

"Oh. It's a girly man."

"You die right now."

"Kanda!"

"There you guys are!"

What the hell? Was that Tyki? Shit. Then that means -

"Uncle Tyki!"

Allen's eyes burst into the size of saucers - not that they weren't as big, Lavi would always say - at the sound of the fourth voice. Road.

But wait. Didn't that mean -

_"Please no!"_

"Road! You shouldn't go off on your own like that! What if some creepy pervert decided to pick your cute little self-off?"

"Dad. You're a creepy pervert."

"Allen!"

Before he knew, said British boy was dragged out of his hiding spot underneath his sleeping bag by a small, tiny girl with spiky dark purple-blue hair, dark tan mixed with grey skin and golden eyes, wearing a punk-gothic lolita dress.

"Allen! It _is_ you!"

Oh the hugging, the breath taking - and not in a good way - hugging that seemed to crush his bones and break his ribs.

"Road! Why don't you hug me like that?"

"Because you're creepy Sheril."

Lavi chuckled. They weren't that bad. Aside from the gunfire and explosions, they look relatively harmless. He saw Kanda attacking two guys, one with long blonde hair and the other with black-purplish hair, both the same skin tone as Road. Didn't Allen say they were twins or something? Sure didn't look like it. Turning a little to the right, there was Allen, being squeezed by Road. Two men stood beside them. One with long dark hair, swept back but a few strays managed to hang by the sides of his face and he wore glasses. The other was not as well kept except for his clothes. They were neat. But his hair was just a mess he didn't know whose hair was messier, his or Allen's.

"Road I think you should let go of the boy." Tyki smirked.

"No! I love Allen!"

"Guys is that fire?" Lenalee pointed timidly to the trees a few metres away.

Everyone froze then turned to the direction the pigtailed girl pointed to. Well look at that. It _is_ fire!

"Shit we have to stop that!" Kanda grabbed Lavi's backpack and ran over to the small flames that threatened to grow, Lavi and Tyki right behind him.

* * *

><p>Whatever complaints, whatever arguements, whatever insults or accusations that were ready to be yelled were stopped by the sounds of sirens. Three different kinds. The police, the ambulances, and the fire trucks. It took atleast five seconds for everyone to realize the trouble they were in. So Jasdero and Devit decided to run. Tyki tried to stop them saying stuff about taking responsibility, Road wanted to follow the guy but wanted Allen to follow her. She dragged the boy, they were followed by Sheril. Lavi tried to stop Allen's "kidnapping", Lenalee asked for Road to stop and dragged Kanda for help who in turn began to protest and had to be dragged with his heels digging into the dirt.<p>

No one knew how, but they ended up by a cliffside next to a waterfall. Cops nowhere to be seen or heard. Which probably meant that they were _way_ beyond civilization. What. The. Hell.

"How did you guys get here anyway?" Allen asked.

"Dragged out here by Dad." Road replied

"We stowed away!" Devit and Jasdero exclaimed simultaneously, they seemed proud about it.

Tyki frowned, "Everyone we gotta -"

"I'm leaving." Kanda turned to leave like he said he would, only to be jumped by Lavi and his fake tears.

"No Yu-baby! ("Don't call me that!)The coppahs are probably still there, you could get arrested!"

"For what? Stopping a fire those two idiots caused?"

"Who are you calling idiots?"

"You two idiots." Allen said pointedly at the twins.

"Something we both can actually agree on Moyashi."

"It's 'Allen'!"

"...you are kinda short though." Sheril's eyes scanned the white-haired boy's body, "How tall are you five three? Plus you're kinda boney."

"Five six! And what do you mean boney?"

"Allen, it's okay." The Chinese girl reassured, "You're boney in a good way."

Jasdero and Devit began to snicker and point at Allen, who sees this and glares at them. Really! Five foot six is a good height. Why couldn't anyone understand that?

"Hey guys," Tyki spoke up again, "we need to figure out a way -"

"Hey Allen come with us!" Road latched herself onto her love interest, "And Lenalee was it? You can come too! Your hair looks lovely and I wanna play with it. That girly man too."

Cue large angry tick. "What did you call me?"

Lenalee needed to act quickly, "Kanda it's okay. Don't mind her."

"Everyone -" Tyki tried once again.

"Road, you don't need them! You can hang out with your fun dad!" Sheril

"But I want Allen!"

"We'll show you to call us idiots! You girly man!"

"Bring it on make-up freaks!"

"Yu-baby calm down."

"You are the next to die Usagi!"

"EHHHH? WHY? Yu-baby, why?"

"Don't call me that!"

"SHUT UP!" Tyki blinked when everyone did as he yelled. _"That actually worked." _He cleared his throat, "Okay, as you all know, my brother is nature ignorant -"

"They don't." Devit pointed at Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda.

"Well now they do. NOW! We should get to the matter at hand, which is finding our way back and clearing up the mess with the police."

The twins gave Tyki an incredulous look. And so did Sheril, Road, and Allen.

Lenalee nodded her head in agreement, obviously not aware that Tyki Mikk did everything in his power to stay the hell away from cops. Go down memory lane with me here, you have no choice.

Around a year ago and six months ago, when Allen was still with his adoptive father Mana, Mana's younger brother Nea introduced him to his side of the family during a family reunion. Five hours into said reunion everyone noticed a certain flirty guy was missing. Road suggested that they go and form a search party in the ridiculously gigantic house. While searching, the doorbell rang, prompting Allen - who was the closest to the front door - to answer it. To say that he was _really_ freaked out that five cop cars were parked outside would be...quite accurate. They asked for a Nea Walker. At the sound of his name Nea approached the front door and BAM! He was on the run for something he had no idea had happened.

Apparently he was wanted for trashing a stripper joint then punching some rich dude on the face.

Safe to say Mana was ready to destroy Tyki, who everyone knew loved going to stripper joint.

"What the hell are you on?" Davit asked with a serious look on his face.

Tyki sighed, that was a very excellent question. But really. At least he _has_ a plan.


	2. Chapter 2

It took forever getting this up even though it was really short!

Disclaimer: I don't own -Man (no matter how much I want to...but if I did...procrastination for all!)

* * *

><p>"Where da hell we goin' Tyk-Tyk?" Devit asked boredly<p>

"I would tell you, but you probably wouldn't understand proper english."

"Imma poonch ya on da face!"

Kanda twitched in annoyance. "How does someone have a total speech melt down in ten minutes?"

Lavi shrugged, "No idea Yu-baby." He quickly dodged a punch.

"Listen here you - "

"Guys!" Road called out, "We see something!"

She, Allen, and Lenalee - with little Road in between - had trekked ahead in search of help.

With the assuming to be good news, the men of the group - excluding Allen, of course he was with the girls - hurried forward.

The group huddled behind a few think bushes when they heard drunken laughter and the breaking of what seemed to be bottles.

Before them were eight or so half naked men, dancing around a bonfire, beer bottles in hand.

"Ah! Look away Road!" Sheril made a mad dash towards his daughter in order to cover her eyes to protect her visual chastity, "Those disgusting men!"

His companions panicked.

Except for Kanda.

Kanda doesn't panic.

"Who's there?" One of the naked men bellowed out, suddenly swinging a shot gun around.

Tyki had pushed down his brother and niece just in time where everyone else had ducked down.

"Sheril shut your mouth!" He hissed, "Those fools are armed."

"Well obviously." Jasdero rolled eyes, "Everyone has two of those things."

The blonde had been given a look by everyone that said "What the hell are you talking about?" until they realized he was talking about actual arms.

Oh what a lame joke.

"Are you drunk Jasdero?" Allen whispered

"Guys!" Lenalee shrieked.

If any one of them were worried about being too loud, they didn't have to worry anymore.

Because three men with three shot guns were shooting happily - or not I don't really know - at the bushes after hearing the quiet arguments...or maybe they really were just that drunk, like I said, I don't know.

They hid behind the thankfully thick trees nearby. Staying silent was their best chance to not be shot at.

Road narrowed her eyes at Lenalee, who was clinging onto Allen so they could both fit behind their tree.

Devit and Jasdero shared a tree, Kanda with Tyki, Lavi with Road, and Sheril was left to be a loner.

"Whoa! Chuck! Calm down. There's no one there."

"Then why were you pointing your gun too?"

"Because you freaked out!"

"Guys," Lavi froze and pulled Road to stand to his right when one of the drunkards checked the bushes to his left. "Some chick's bag is here...I wonder if it has any money."

"Oh dude! Check! Check!"

Lenalee bit her toungue to stop herself from an angry outburst and kicking the man on the face to release her shoulder from his filthy, drunk hands.

"Hey...uh..."

And that was when _everyone_ froze as Lavi stepped out from his hiding spot with a sheepish look on his face. They prepared themselves to run because it was pretty obvious that he was dead.

"Heya that's actually my purse sorry about that." The redhead was subtle in sticking out his hip to the left and placing a hand on it, "I was looking for it all day."

Allen blinked. Was he imagining things?

Lavi strutted towards the naked man.

Nope, Lavi was acting gay again.

"Oh hey you're kinda hot."

Allen resisted the urge to loudly facepalm himself.

"Only kinda?"

And vomit.

"Hehe, well okay. You're hot - "

"Ugh come on!" All glares were directed at Kanda.

"Get the bag and run!" The Japanese boy yelled and was immediately obeyed.

All nine of them ran as fast as could through the forest as eight, drunk - and possibly high - naked men chased after, shotguns and all.

"This is all your fault Lenalee!" Kanda shouted.

"Me? You're the one who couldn't keep his mouth shut!"

"Split up!" Allen pulled Lenalee one the direction while the other went a different way. Unfortunately they were still being followed.

Until one of the men tripped over himself.

But that only meant the gun went off and stray bullets nearly hit them. And another naked idiot was still on their tail.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>"You...are a damned...idiot." Tyki managed out in between pants. He was leaning against a tree while Kanda braced himself on his knees. They had managed to outrun the drunked fools but had lost sight of Sheril and Devit - the closest people they were next to - on the way. "You have no self-control do you?"<p>

"Shut up you Mexican."

"I am _not_ Mexican! I am really offended! That's like my calling you Japanese or something!"

"I _am_ Japanese."

"...I thought you were Korean or something."

"Now who's being offensive?"

The two men never had the chance to argue it out when they heard a strangled yell from in the bushes metres away from them. They froze, not knowing whether or not they were about to be attacked.

"If I die," Kanda whispered to the man on his right, "I want you to know that ever since I met you I've always wanted to gut you alive."

"Same here man."

And for once there was a quiet, calm, and manly silence.

* * *

><p>Sheril stopped midstep when screams filled the air, one more familiar than the other. He knew who it was, but also knew that he was no use to anyone dead.<p>

He would find a way around all of those drunken freaks he could still hear running around and find his sweet, precious daughter than find his brother and book it!

Allen and Lenalee started when they heard the screams.

"Allen, we have to go back!" The Chinese girl began to ask, "That was Kanda! He could be in trouble!"

"It's Kanda, he'll be fine. That was probably a battle cry." The white-haired boy showed an attempt to come up with an acceptable reply, "Besides. He has that bastard Tyki with him. They can watch each other backs, if not kill each other."

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna kill you Baka Usagi!"<p>

"But Yu-baby! I thought you'd be happy to see ol' sexy me!"

"Well I'm not – Mexican let me go!"

"I can't let you kill him, for all we know those drunken men could be close by and hearing Lavi's pained screams would alert them to where we are."

"Let me go Mexican!"

"I am so offended right now." Tyki turned to the eyepatch boy, "You better appreciate this."

"Oh I do, don't worry." Lavi grinned thankfully, "Yu-baby can get quite angry. But unfortunately right now we gotta find the others." He looked around cautiously.

By then Kanda had calmed down from the initial shock of Lavi and Road jumped out of the bushes after finding a dead rabbit at their feet. They couldn't help but scream, causing the dark-haired men to scream as well.

At least they weren't done for.

But now that they were able to recover two member of their group, they could go on looking for the others.

That would take all night.


End file.
